In our everyday life we come across all sorts of people, some good, some bad and some downright toxic. Some we interact on superficial levels while for some we go into intimate relationships with like family, coworkers, neighbors and friends. These interactions in as much as it gives us a diverse experience of life has its downsides too. Many people can be caring, loving and helpful while others can be mean, vicious or petty.
But the advice I received some time ago from a dear friend rings true today – generally, do not avoid people. Be open, be welcoming and give your time if you can to those that want it. Everyone has good, learn from the good they have, overlook faults though be careful not to emulate their faults. Focusing on priorities and ridding the weeds in our lives can be beneficial to our forward momentum and leave behind people who act as stressors in our life. But there are some kinds of people you must absolutely stay away from.
1. Those who repeatedly and intentionally do or say things that they know would hurt you. Why be friends or relate to them when they constantly don’t care about your feelings in any matter.
2. Those who can’t or won’t apologize sincerely. The normal thing to do when a friend’s feeling is hurt is to apologize but these kinds of people will never see anything wrong in their actions so to them it’s pointless saying sorry.
3. The kind of people who expect from you what they haven’t or cannot give in return. A popular saying goes thus “You get what you give”. People want to receive love without giving love back but that’s not how it works. You give then expect to receive not the other way round.
4. People who never see anything good but faults and complains in you. Some gloat when they find faults in others. They don’t hesitate to point it out, rubbing more salt in the wound. This negative behavior gets worse when they are actually right about something going wrong. Then their favorite phrase of the day becomes ‘I told you so’. True appreciation and happiness in others success does not necessarily interest them; they just lurk on the sidelines with polite remarks instead of being happy. You might be brave enough to clap-back but they’re not one to ever cease their nit-picking. They’ll keep making you unhappy even in your joyous times. Do not worry about what such people do or think or even say about you. It’s their insecurities or personal peculiarities that are showing them up. Actually just pity them from a very long distance.
5. Disrespects and uses your feelings. Being around people who don’t treat you with respect but rather intimidate and belittle you can be very toxic to your personal development. Run from them like the hounds of hell are chasing you.
6. Those who mess with your head. People who flatter you at will and bring you down at will. You don’t know where you stand with this kind of friends or family. Sometimes acting as friends then acting like you’re public enemy number one, the next. They also gossip about other friends who they say are out to get you. But in retrospect who is really out to get who?
7. Those who expect you to prioritize them but refuse to make you or your happiness your priority. These people act as friends on comfortable terms. When you need their help they tend to depart and stay away. They can’t be leaned on rather you have to recognize their pretentious traits and establish clear boundaries. These are also called fair weather friends and are better known from afar.
8. People who act the victim when confronted with their own bad behavior. I call them the forever victim. You may have felt sorry for them, that’s why you are friends or they latched onto you. They see the supposed injustice and whine for eternity. Instead of crying and moaning take steps to rectify the situation by staying away from them.
9. The kind who give you reasons not to trust their words. These are people who go to bed and rest well after feeding you lies after lies. I know we all have lied at some point in our lives, but there are people who just can’t seem to help but lie on every occasion. You’ll need to be very careful and discerning to recognize them for the liars they are. They lie on trivialities not knowing the lies could pile up and turn into something serious.
10. Those who want to play god over you separate yourself from this people. They think that without them your survival on this earth is non-existent.
There you have it, people. As always, please leave me meaningful comments/suggestions and let’s engage. Thanks for reading.