Suffering a betrayal especially from a trusted friend can be so gut wrenching. When someone you call friend has the temerity to be at the centre of a problem because they supposedly had the wrong end of the stick alters something in you and you are forced to grow up. People do messed up things so it is what it is. But notice how it is always friends or family members that tend to always do you wrong? The experience pierces through the heart almost causing irreparable damage (if you not strong enough) to the trust you had managed to cultivate over the years.
Looking back at all the promises, hopes and dreams you thought out together and wonder if you were a blinking idiot to not see the bold red flags. Now you are left twisting in the wind. You wonder why you didn’t listen to your guts and tread with caution. You flog, you flay yourself, apportion blame here and there all to no avail.
You have to make a decision-forgive or carry a grudge, if possible to the grave. Don’t forget you are still human and still have feelings of hate, pride and insecurities. But it is entirely possible to forgive someone, to truly let go and wish that person well while at the same time making sure they can never get close enough to harm you again. Forgiveness is a gift, but it doesn’t need to make you stupid.
A similar situation occurred where I was done wrong and then expected to forgive and I struggled with it. But I have realized that as a Christian, I am daily brought to terms with the fact that my faith is one that holds the greatest hope of forgiveness and human redemption. Not that I have studied other religions but the Christian narrative of grace is ever so compelling even from the observation of any ordinary man.
So even though trust destroyed is hard to regain and it makes us wary of trusting but making a conscious effort to forgive is truly good. Because when you decide not to forgive, it steals your joy and who wants to live like that-not me. Life is too short for all that.
So I ask myself who am I not to learn forgiveness after the work of the Cross and I just refuse to let people alter the way I am because of the way they are.